You've no doubt noticed that in certain workplaces the language tends to be... salty. Typical places you hear the banter become blue are dockyards, construction sites, and of course the House of Commons. In my summer jobs as a youth working as a labourer and truck driver in the oilpatch, I noticed that profanity became such a common habit (including for me I have to admit) that lots of guys just used the F-word as a universal adjective because it was easier than thinking of something more descriptive. That's the problem.  These days swearing is so common it comes across as lazy language. Swearing around customers and coworkers says a lot: we are oblivious to the other person's possible sensibilities, we aren't intelligent enough to choose a more appropriate word, and we don't exactly exude class. Becoming a trusted advisor is also about what you chose not to say.

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Whether you’re coaching a team at a soccer practice, or discussing a proposal in a meeting, there are times when you are expected to take control. Compare two presenters reviewing a project with her team. First presenter: “Ok, that’s if for page 5. Would you kindly turn to page 6 please?” Second presenter: “Ok, that’s it for page 5. Please turn to page 6.” The second presenter, while still being polite, sounds more decisive, in control, and instills more confidence. I believe most of the time, we should ask – not tell. However, on those occasions when you are expected to, go ahead and take command.

I think my former neighbor, Judge Peter Leveque had the right attitude about humor at work. Though he passed a few years ago, he once told me that as family court judge, at Easter time every year he would don a bunny outfit and hop into the staff’s offices delivering chocolate eggs. You can imagine the staff’s belly-laughs echoing in chambers at seeing Judge Peter transformed into Peter Rabbit. And they were devoted to him. As a leader trying to strengthen staff loyalty and enhance team spirit, do you use self-effacing humor? It is a risk requiring humility, security, and courage. Those are strong character traits. Maybe that’s why, ironically, at an almost subconscious level we have more respect for those people who take themselves less seriously.

Perhaps one of the toughest challenges in relationships is giving corrective feedback to people you care about. As a supervisor, husband, and father, I’ve made my share of mistakes when confronting others – less so since discovering this tip. Focus your feedback on behavior – not attitude. Instead of saying, “You need to be friendlier to customers.” (Friendliness is an attitude), focus on behavior with, “Within 5 seconds of the customer’s arrival, you are expected to smile, show teeth, and greet them.” Avoiding confrontation doesn’t help anyone. Focus on observable behavior. As for ‘correcting’ the other person’s attitude – what they think, believe, and feel – forever hold your peace.

"Our site managers are hurting us more than helping us when they put-off resolving customer complaints.” This was a client, a senior operations manager, I interviewed for a seminar I was doing for his managers. As an example he explained, “If a customer bangs their knee on our job site, we need the local site superintendent to immediately offer to reimburse for rehab expenses. If we force customers to contact head office, they are just as apt to contact a lawyer. And with our insurance deductible being 25k, we ALWAYS pay more by delaying than we would have by just resolving the complaint immediately.” I’ve found with other clients this same strategy applies to the likelihood of customers posting negative comments online. When we train frontline employees how to resolve customer concerns instantly, they not only strengthen customer loyalty; they also improve their company’s rankings on customer review websites.